doorknobdude

Flipping your fins you don't get too far.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

doorknobdude

Today is the first day of my brand new life.

Dear gubment, I don't ask much from you, but please pull thru for me like when I was in the hospital after suffering a heart attack.

Wow. Small frickin' world.

The cylons in Xmas garb and angels that don't exist are out to make me hurt. HURT rike Ribery!

When it comes to dating you girls are frickin neurotic.

Blond locks. Passed the shoulders. Highlights. Rawr.

Omg another party at our house. It's only 11:35 come on over.

@graceface46 prude!

doorknobdude

Just woke up after tons of hours of sleep. My body shut down after Tuesdays shenanigans and last nights drama disaster. Refreshed!

Funemployment begins in 9 hours!

@johnboy221 looks like it :) Although this time, I won't have money to drink, haha.

It's a very sad video, but compelling none the less. Pet or not, it's really about our ability to love. vimeo.com/8191217

I should sell my car, get a bike and a 7D.

I have a secret and it's freakin hilarious. Also goes to show how perceptive I am. SUCKA!

veggie curry, rice, red velvet coffee and bejeweled blitz. Yeah, you heard me. Odd combos FTW.

Curry and rice, not to be confused with Korean Rice. #misunderstood

holy crap, is tonight going to turn into another impromptu night of WTF? Maybe, just maybe. Funemployment in 1.5 hours!

is officially funemployed!

Celebrating my escape from the evil clutches of the corpo world! Call or text for more info!

doorknobdude

Wow.

Our Hangover viewing party turned into skip The Hangover and go staright to the hangover party.

I'm surprised at how chipper I am. My head feels like chaos and fiasco had a child and its learning how to play drums.

Crasians fo' LIFE!

I'm in dire need of comfort food. Pho or Arizas lengua burrito sounds pretty gosh darn spectacular. SPECTACULAR.

@kallano ahh you tease!

@sunflower033 wait, wait, wait, did you say - MAKE?

@CelaMaria I'd trade the lengua burrito for your lengua any day. Rawr!

@sunflower033 I am SO coming over.

What are they gonna do? Fire me? ;)

@sunflower033 you're on!

Damn this fork. Where's a pair of chopsticks when ya need it?

@RandomNinjas ah! I totally forgot. But then there's the problem with them attacking me. Arg, I can't win!

This tweet is a placeholder for all the other things I really want to say. The world is good. I will have faith.

doorknobdude

anyone have access to a cabin in the woods? I feel the call of the wild and the ages of American literature calling me.

@graceface46. Way to bring down the mother fuckin hammer.

Ma's veggie curry is totally not bad at all. Thanks ma!

Hangover viewing party tonight at our place! Bring drinks for a self fulfilling viewing! You know how our impromptu parties end ;)

@sosupersam moar pew pew

@emosweater FUCKA YOU WHALE!!!

@emosweater OH HO HO, OOHHHH HO HO HOHO...

@esdi A M G THE W H A T ! ?

Tonight's going to be an amazing fiasco.

@esdi @emosweater wait...skin isn't a restaurant? I always wondered how they made money with a free buffet and no cover.

@sketch678 dude I still have an American Airlines ticket to use. Where should we go?

I think a trip to the east coast is in order.

twitpic.com/toxib - Holy fast tracks @esdi wasn't kidding.

Everyone is welcome to join tonight. The password is my middle name.

@esdi if this was facebook I would like this.

A child does not have to be biologically yours in order for it to be loved as if it was. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to die in a fire.

We got a fire, rockband, fast tracks, wine, hawaiian egg sliders and good company tonight.

doorknobdude

Gawddamn you half Japanese girls.

Super mega boo boo WTF srsly amg why I suck!

@sosupersam holy crap, seriously. It bugs the crap out of me. "Your cool." What? My cool what? What do I have that is cool? Your cool mom.

After almost six months, my face is still round. I'm doing something wrong. Oh yeah, that's right. Drinking.

@IMKristenBell a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away also: www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qUjsCODGnE. The Guido/Greedo connection.

@shehulk123 I was wondering how you got to be so cute because your smile is killing me.

You called down the thunder, now reap the whirlwind.

@oliviamunn is he in skinny jeans and a little coat too? Cuz that would take the cake. Or maybe he would...

has a lengua burrito from Arizas on his mind.

@emosweater I seriously wish I could.

so I'm flippin through some contacts and guess who I find? Ken Lee.

@emosweater OH SNAP!

@lizzybitty_13 this is going to take some getting used to.

Has anyone else seen that weird ass Biz Markie commercial? Seriously, is that legit or was I on drugs? "Oh snap, guess what I saw!"

how are we already planning drunken adventures for February already?

I just got this sudden urge to go karaoke.

Yes, yes we are :) RT @CelaMaria: Boys are evil. All of them!

doorknobdude

Me wearing skinny jeans would be a serious disservice to society. Trust me when I say I'm doing the public eye a favor.

On my sickness prevention regimen. I think the weekend's shenanigans and last night's Solid Snake maneuver left me a bit frosty inside.

@shehulk123 as I eat baby back ribs, cole slaw and potato salad.

RT @sketch678: twitpic.com/tg37i - Hydration is key to a successful marathon -- grats to you and everyone else!

Holy crap New Super Mario Bros. Wii is freakin frantic!

You reap what you sow Moody. You reap what you sow.

@shehulk123 I have no idea what you're talking about. Dude, go to bed!

doorknobdude

Curled up in jammies, a bowl of veggie curry, heated mattress and on the comp with my niece - but now I have to go outside :(

Fucka you cheecken and cow!!!

About to set off the fun switch at my pseudo little sister's 21st. Happy birthday Vanessa!

I just met Jessica and "I just spilled alcohol in her hair." No really, according to Jessica, that's her name.

Jessica: "I have tits, I have priority." Me: "What tits?"

Hiding behind a pillar to escape the wind tunnel effect. Not working!